I've tried mood tracking apps. The ones where you tap a little face — happy, neutral, sad — and optionally add a note. I always abandon them within two weeks because the act of rating my mood feels both reductive and performative.
But I've noticed something: what I buy at the grocery store is a more accurate record of how I'm doing than anything I've ever deliberately tracked.
When I'm doing well, I buy vegetables with ambition. Fennel. Leeks. Things that require a recipe. I buy good olive oil and the expensive bread from the bakery section.
When I'm tired but functional, I buy things that are easy. Pasta. Eggs. A rotisserie chicken. Reliable things that will become dinner without requiring me to think.
When I'm not doing well, I buy snacks. Specifically: crackers, hummus, and whatever chocolate is near the checkout. I buy things I can eat standing at the counter without committing to a meal.
I've started paying attention to this. Not to judge it — the cracker weeks are sometimes necessary — but as information. The grocery store doesn't lie. It doesn't let me tell myself I'm fine when I'm buying nothing but crackers and emergency chocolate for the third week running.
Last month I bought fennel for the first time in a while. I took it as a good sign.